Steve Jobs is sitting at an intersection in his Mercedes-Benz, waiting for the light to change.
While he waits, Steve Ballmer pulls along side in a neon green Mitsubishi Lancer. Not an Evo, mind you. A bog standard front-wheel-drive Lancer DE with a booming subwoofer causing a buzz from somewhere around the trunk, a gaudy aftermarket rear wing, an obnoxiously noisy exhaust, and an unmodified 2.0 liter naturally aspirated four-banger making only 152 hp.
Jobs glances at the car next to him, rolls his eyes, and returns his attention to the traffic light. Ballmer revs his engine and looks back at Jobs, the time-honored challenge issued.
The light turns green, and Ballmer floors it. With a flatulent rasp, the Lancer surges forward as quickly as 146 lb.-ft. of torque will allow. The monotone engine note of a CVT echoes in the street. As the next green light streaks by overhead, Ballmer looks to his left, and the Silver Arrow is nowhere to be found!
Later that day, Ballmer brags to all his friends about how he dusted Jobs and his precious SL, about how he isn’t cool enough for a Mercedes, how much money he saved on a Lancer, how Mitsubishis are about performance, not flash.
But he missed one thing.
Jobs made a left turn at that light.